A Rantin' Rovin' Jimmy Nelson (64)

The Scottish Sunday Mail has printed a story this weekend past of an incident that can be laid at the door of the swally.

New Year in Scotland is a time when if you're not drinking, you're not really there. It was always a holiday in Scotland, from back in the days when people worked Christmas. You could say it's because if you had the choice, there's more boozing to be done at New Year (although it's more to do with the distaste for celebrating a religious holiday stemming from those awfy Catholic rituals, in the staunch presbyterian land up north).

But nowadays, with Christmas starting off the holiday festive season, the swallification begins at least a week before Hogmanay (31st December) and come New Year's Day, quite a few people can feel a bit indifferent to taking any more drink.

Not the people of the Hawick Robert Burns Club.

On 1st January they gathered to celebrate the start of the new year. The catalogue of what happened can be read in the story itself but basically a man was found guilty of sexually assaulting two women: an inexcusable crime.

Though it's hard to get on the moral soapbox when the swally seems to have muddied that high ground.

• One of the victims had flashed her chest at the accused, and straddled him, hiking up her skirt to do so.
• The other said they'd been drinking vodka and cokes from midday.
• One of the witnesses did admit to drinking about 10 pints.

The Mail quoted a club member: "What happened that day was out of character for the man and obviously drink is to blame."

No keich, Sherlock.