Where's Mitch Buchannon when you need him?

There's many things swally doesn't mix well with: driving, flying, working, etc. Another is swimming.

Some drunken bathers got into trouble off an Indian beach and had to be rescued by lifeguards. One of whom was then punched by the rescued man.

Source: Times of India

A Faller at the First

Alcohol is for humans. That's straightforward. However there is the occasional story of a horse that is barred from a pub or a donkey that keep abreast of the domino games down the boozer.
This week a story appeared of a horse that got steaming and ended up in someone's swimming pool.

Easy done.

The poor equine was called "Fat Boy" and after eating some fermented apples, slipped and fell into a woman's pool.

A wag may quip that they should rename the stables "The Nag's Head". But only a poor wag.

Story from BBC

Daft B

Sometimes to have to take your hat off to salute the sheer That's the Swally-ness of some behaviour.

A man was stopped by police, taken to a police station and breathalysed. His wife drove to pick him up from the station in Ayr.

He was clear of the swally.

She wasn't.

By a factor of four times over the limit.

A source said: "She must be the stupidest driver of the year." No, but the maybe the swallyest.

Sunday Mail

Assault and Fartery

A driver in the US of A was stopped by police and during his arrest for failing a drunk test, he is alleged to have performed an act that is not as popular with the police as it is in a Will Ferrell movie.

He was arrested for his troubles.

Fox News got wind of it here.

Going down nicely

Drink makes us do stupid things. I once ordered a fish supper. With an extra smoked sausage on top. What was I thinking? That's two meals on their own for goodness sake.

But one man will have more to regret than increased cholesterol today as he's been jailed for saying that the plane he was on had a bomb. On the plane they found no bomb, and in the court they found him guilty of being swallied.

That's the aerial swally

Alcoholic Pandamic

Everyone loves Pandas. When you combine that feeling with the dutch courage of the swally you can end up in a bit of bother. As the Chinese man who thought it a good idea to hug a Panda when juiced up found out.

More on what happens when you combine drink and large furry mammals.

Doh!

A Minnesotan woman managed to perform what may be the daftest thing yet on the swally.

Driving and lost, she stopped at a house to ask for directions. A house where a sheriff's deputy lived. A sheriff who refused to let her leave until she'd been arrested.

That's the Swally!