Tuesday, 30 September 2008

Daft B


Sometimes to have to take your hat off to salute the sheer That's the Swally-ness of some behaviour.

A man was stopped by police, taken to a police station and breathalysed. His wife drove to pick him up from the station in Ayr.

He was clear of the swally.

She wasn't.

By a factor of four times over the limit.

A source said: "She must be the stupidest driver of the year." No, but the maybe the swallyest.

Sunday Mail

Thursday, 25 September 2008

Assault and Fartery

A driver in the US of A was stopped by police and during his arrest for failing a drunk test, he is alleged to have performed an act that is not as popular with the police as it is in a Will Ferrell movie.

He was arrested for his troubles.

Fox News got wind of it here.

Wednesday, 17 September 2008

Going down nicely

Drink makes us do stupid things. I once ordered a fish supper. With an extra smoked sausage on top. What was I thinking? That's two meals on their own for goodness sake.

But one man will have more to regret than increased cholesterol today as he's been jailed for saying that the plane he was on had a bomb. On the plane they found no bomb, and in the court they found him guilty of being swallied.

That's the aerial swally

Monday, 8 September 2008

Alcoholic Pandamic

Everyone loves Pandas. When you combine that feeling with the dutch courage of the swally you can end up in a bit of bother. As the Chinese man who thought it a good idea to hug a Panda when juiced up found out.

More on what happens when you combine drink and large furry mammals.

Wednesday, 6 August 2008

Doh!

A Minnesotan woman managed to perform what may be the daftest thing yet on the swally.

Driving and lost, she stopped at a house to ask for directions. A house where a sheriff's deputy lived. A sheriff who refused to let her leave until she'd been arrested.

That's the Swally!

Thursday, 31 July 2008

Stupid things while drunk #483

There's a long history of people doing stupid things while drunk, whether it's having sex with a pavement, trying to open an airliner's door midflight or trying to eat a fish supper while drinking a can of pop and texting your mates on the way home. (Which can only lead to a distressed scene when said chipper drops onto the pavement, spilling its golden wares onto the concrete).

Sometimes it can veer away from the relatively "normal" as above into areas that are termed: "criminal" and can lead to questions such as "What they f*@k were they thinking about?"

An Australian sheep-shearer, seemingly full of whisky, broke into a couple's hotel room, held them hostage, put them into a state of what can only be described as fear, hit one of them, before being apprehended by the hotel staff, one of whom he also hit.

The reason? He was refused more drink.

His lawyer told the court "He had far too much to drink. He remembers drinking whisky and that's not normally his drink."

The lawyer did not offer a plea of "That's the swally" and so it looks like he's going down, faster than a tinnie of Four X.

Sunday, 27 July 2008

Open Door Polizei

Stories of air-rage are not difficult to find. Put some people in a metal tube and hurl them through the air miles above the ground and you will eventually get some reactions. In fact I'm amazed there's not more incidents.

The classic is people going on holiday get boozed up on the way, continue on the flight, do something stupid, get restrained by the crew, aircraft diverts and they get arrested.

This week's Act of Stupidity involves two women on a Manchester to Kos flight, who went a bit daft on the swally, one of whom went to open the emergency door to get "some fresh air".