What is French for "easy done?"

Those who drink are well aware of the hazards. Apart from the long-term health impact there is the more immediate one of what happens while you are under the influence. Most involve a bump or a bruise, or a dropped fish supper.

Two British tourists in France seem to have joined the ranks of those who didn't make it safely home.

Link

Too Drunk To Board

A goalkeeper was refused boarding onto an aircraft as staff said he was too drunk. Hibs new Polish goalise "could barely stand up and was lurching all over the place."

Makes a change from the pilots, eh, readers.

Source: The Scotsman

A Bridge Too Drunk

A man who took a taxi to the Forth Road Bridge in order to climb its 360 feet towers admitted he had a drink problem. No shit, Sherlock.

It takes some people Dutch courage to drive over it, never mind scale its grey support towers.

Story: The Sun

Where's Mitch Buchannon when you need him?

There's many things swally doesn't mix well with: driving, flying, working, etc. Another is swimming.

Some drunken bathers got into trouble off an Indian beach and had to be rescued by lifeguards. One of whom was then punched by the rescued man.

Source: Times of India

A Faller at the First

Alcohol is for humans. That's straightforward. However there is the occasional story of a horse that is barred from a pub or a donkey that keep abreast of the domino games down the boozer.
This week a story appeared of a horse that got steaming and ended up in someone's swimming pool.

Easy done.

The poor equine was called "Fat Boy" and after eating some fermented apples, slipped and fell into a woman's pool.

A wag may quip that they should rename the stables "The Nag's Head". But only a poor wag.

Story from BBC

Daft B

Sometimes to have to take your hat off to salute the sheer That's the Swally-ness of some behaviour.

A man was stopped by police, taken to a police station and breathalysed. His wife drove to pick him up from the station in Ayr.

He was clear of the swally.

She wasn't.

By a factor of four times over the limit.

A source said: "She must be the stupidest driver of the year." No, but the maybe the swallyest.

Sunday Mail

Assault and Fartery

A driver in the US of A was stopped by police and during his arrest for failing a drunk test, he is alleged to have performed an act that is not as popular with the police as it is in a Will Ferrell movie.

He was arrested for his troubles.

Fox News got wind of it here.